I Rock!

Here are some things I know, things I know well, things I can do, and things I do well, things I have learned, and observations I have made. 

There are a few cautionary tales thrown in as well. 

I am good with kids. Kids like me because I can be goofy and have no qualms about making a fool of myself for their amusement. I know how to entertain kids with crafts, make-it-yourself toys, imaginary play, games and general shenanigans, silly talk and absolute foolishness.

I’m actually good with people too, but I chose not to interact with people often. It’s risky. I am a good conversationalist when it’s absolutely necessary.

I can identify poisonous pit vipers and black widow spiders (tarantulas too).

I know firsthand that doctors may try their best but can still give bad or worthless advice. Also, people think that they always need Novocaine for such things as getting a cavity filled but not getting the Novocaine is a valid option. It doesn’t hurt anywhere near as much as you may think it will. Try it and see.

I can pick a small stone up with my toes and throw it far away at a high velocity with remarkable accuracy. 

I know that two sections of a dozen eggs that have been broken apart still equal a dozen eggs when presented at the check-out counter.

I can adapt a dial telephone into a phonograph speaker (but of course, this is not a very handy skill to have any more with today’s cell phones and iPods).

I can make my own Ethernet cables from scratch and I can set up a telephone system using a hardware PBX or a software PBX including a VOIP system. Also, I can re-wire a lamp.

I know the different sizes of 16 rpm vinyl records (and that they used to exist).

I can repair and maintain a drinking water well system including changing filters, clearing sediment traps, and repair other parts of the system.

I know it’s annoying to repeat oneself.

I can mix, cut, and rearrange music phrases to create a new/better/different song.

I have a reputation for stacking rocks in an unusual and/or improbable manner and this is something I excel at. I can also dig really large holes in the ground. Related to that skill is the knowledge that if I’m too tired to pry a big rock off my leg that is trapping me in a big hole in the ground, I will have more strength if I wait 20 minutes or so before trying to free my leg again.

I can make colored popcorn.

I know how to care and maintain an above ground swimming pool including cleaning, care of filters and keeping the chemicals in balance. 

I can stand on a diving board facing backwards and jump up and get into a dive position before hitting the water. I have done this successfully more times than I have done it and hit my head on the board.

I can throw clay onto a wheel and make plates, bowls, etc. I know all the basic techniques for working with clay. I can also macramé using many different knots as well tie a wide range of knots (non-macramé) such as clove hitch, half-hitch, larks head, square knot and others.

I am very good at taking tests, any kind of test. I read a book about social work and then took the Association of Social Work Boards test and passed with a score of 650 (out of 700), making me an LSW. In the past I also took the test for COTA/L and passed with a high score.

I can make a wide variety of essential oil blends, balms and scented soaps.

I am good in an emergency. I never lose my cool. I don’t freak out nor am I usually overtaken with a fight or flight reaction. I’m able to think and act. People tend to listen to me under dire circumstances because I’m making sense and they know it. Related to this attribute, I am not fearful of the unknown.

I know how to trap the queen wasp in the early spring and therefor prevent a large wasp population throughout the summer.

I am a good driver, if I find myself in a position in which driving is absolutely necessary. Otherwise, I’ll probably wait until there’s someone else to do the driving for me.

I know wood burning, puzzle-making, some simple card tricks, and how to make a few shadow puppets. 

I have a good sense of timing and a freakishly accurate internal clock. In addition, I have quick reflexes. I’m talking really quick. I almost never drop anything because I catch it before it gets away from me. Also, I can catch small goats that are trying to jump away from me and I can catch a running chicken or rooster.

I play the keyboard and am self-taught. In my youth, I was a competent piano player. I write music and I’m fairly good at writing it down using proper music notation. I have played the guitar fairly well in the past. I have also played the trumpet. I learned how to play the ukulele well enough to record one song. I can still play You’re a Grand Old Flag on the flutophone which is something I learned to do in the second grade.

I know it’s annoying to repeat oneself.

I am good at interior design when working in my own home. Many people have made positive comments about this ability. I am good at wallpapering, painting, installing linoleum, tiles and know how to install roof shingles, drip edges, and repair siding.

I know not to wash a load of white clothes with one piece of new really, really red clothing.

I know how to use pretty much any kind of hand tool or common power tool including drill presses, planers, sanders, circular saws (hand and table), routers (not the kind that dispense internet access, although I am quite capable of configuring those too), jigsaws, random orbital sanders, miter boxes and all sorts of other tools.

I have built a radio using vacuum tubes. It would have taken much less time if I hadn't had so much trouble finding a 6AV6 tube.

I am strong. I am stronger than most of the younger people (under 30) with whom I have worked. I know this through observation and many of them have told me so. They often tire long before I do and work at a much slower pace.

I’m a very good cook at home and in a restaurant environment.

I can run a sit-down lawn tractor and use it as a plow after John has converted it to a plow and I can change a tire on a car, bicycle, hand truck, or boat carrier.

I can program a VCR.

I know how to strengthen all the body’s muscles through specific weight training exercises as well as how to do crunches the correct way.

I know that bad things don’t last forever.

I am industrious. I will attempt any repair, fix, task, chore, activity or endeavor. My motto is “how hard can it be”? I am proficient in the basics of electrical work, carpentry and plumbing. I have repaired and/or replaced dishwashers as well as doing new installs. I can install light fixtures and other electrical devices. 

I am an optimist when I’m not worrying about something.

I know how and when to use oils and acrylic paints. I know how to appropriately clean brushes and have brushes that I have had for over 30 years.

I am good with planting flowers, perennials, and trees. I can keep them alive and have them thrive for many years. I have grown houseplants from starter shoots or seeds that have lived for more than twenty years. I can cut down small trees with a diameter of less than 8 inches.

I can clean, buff, and polish fine jewelry. 

I remember my telephone number from 1964. It was 653-5876. Also, I remember when you could dial someone in town by dialing only 5 digits and I have had a party line.

I know the difference between further and farther as well as continuous and continually and I know the difference between a stalagmite and a stalactite and I know that the word dilemma does not contain the letter “n.”

I am good at long-term projects such as writing/publishing a zine for 11 years in a row.

I know that walking becomes an aerobic exercise after 20 minutes and that 2/3 of the energy of each step is carried over to the next step, making walking one of the most energy efficient means of transportation.

I am a good writer and fair proofreader.

In the past, I have been able to meditate for 2 hours straight with minimal random thoughts or awareness of outer stimuli.

I am empathetic to a fault and can read people’s emotions well.

I have a lot of knowledge about medical terms, procedures, and first aid. If given symptoms and enough information I can pretty much tell you what’s wrong. I know a lot about prescription drugs. I have a good working knowledge of various psychiatric illnesses and can spot the symptoms that they create. I also have many years’ experience working with people with developmental disabilities.

I know how to get a 55 gallon drum that weighs 440 lbs. up onto a palette by myself.

I know a lot about goats, chickens, ducks, geese, turkeys, rabbits and pheasants and have raised and cared for all of them. I can build and repair animal habitats including housing and extremely large aviaries (some have been 40' X 50'  X 25' tall).

I can use a pressure washer to clean/strip wood surfaces.

I am excellent at wrapping presents but don’t often bother to make the effort and in that regard, I know how to press autumn leaves between sheets of wax paper using a warm iron and can carve a pumpkin and roast its seeds in the oven. I also know the proper way to iron a shirt.

I can change a diaper (but probably won’t).

I am good at wood working. I can create, build, and repair furniture, clocks, tools and pretty much anything if I put my mind to it. I can drive a forklift and I can use an outboard motor on a boat. I can also get a submerged motorboat afloat again.

I know not to leave food hanging around a campsite.

I am good with pc computers and have built many computers from scratch, and can identify all the internal components of a computer including most of the connectors on the motherboard. I am knowledgeable in regard to computer terms and components. I can set up a computer network and implement several ways to secure a network. I have an innate ability to use software without reading the manual or getting advice. I am almost never stumped with a computer hardware/software problem. I can learn and use new technology when I choose to and I can program in ancient Tandy Color Basic. I am moderately capable of using a mac and proficient in the use of the iPod, iPad and iPhone.

I know that I would not look good with a mullet, mohawk haircut, or being completely bald.

I am a natural group leader but don’t automatically assume the role unless I see that the leader who has emerged is an idiot, an egotistical jerk, or is about to do more harm than good.

I can stop myself from hiccuping after the first hiccup if I want to.

I can drive a manual transmission vehicle and replace a windshield washer motor. I can run a wire from a car battery directly to a button that is connected to the car’s horn so that pushing the button makes the horn toot. I can change the oil on a car, truck, or whole-house standby generator.

I can carve block erasers into unique customized rubber stamps.

I am fairly good with many aspects of graphic design and also good at making a wide range of websites. I understand HTML and can use it proficiently when necessary.

I know there is no evidence that most vitamins and supplements don’t have any effect on the body whatsoever but I still take fish oil and parsley.

I can run therapy groups, lead in-service trainings, and contribute to treatment plans and documentation processes. I know how to make hand splints and I know a fair amount of medical terminology and nursing note shorthand.

I know pretty much everything about sleep apnea and its treatment. I have used a wide variety of CPAP masks including nasal masks, full-face masks, and 2 different types of nasal pillows.

I know that you should make sure to have a router (hardwire firewall) between your internet service and your computer and I know what a soldering gun is for and how to use it.

I am good with many types of crafts and leisure time activities.

I know it’s better to do something and be sorry than to not do it and be regretful. Also, I know that the phrase “there are no stupid questions” is not true. There are lots of really stupid questions.

I can ski downhill but I cannot stop.

I can multitask very well in certain circumstances and can tie-dye stuff.

I have a good knowledge of basic accounting procedures and am proficient in the use of QuickBooks and Quicken (as well as Microsoft Office programs) and a very large number of other types of computer software.

I can use a glass cutter and cut glass into different shapes and sizes.

I have a high tolerance for pain. I know a good tattoo from a bad one and I know to what degree a tattoo will hurt in relationship to where on the body it is to be placed. I have almost fallen asleep while being tattooed and I know that sunscreen really does help keep tattoos from fading.

I am very good at dividing things by three. Example: I know that 3 for $5.00 means that the items cost about $1.67 each.

I have the courtesy to not continually complain about an ailment or injury that I’ve already mentioned or complained about a few times.

I know not to bring an entire box of Devil Dogs up to my office from the kitchen because I will eat the entire box.

I can knit a scarf.

I am good at developing forms and office procedures, and I know that if you take a toner cartridge out of a laser printer and shake it up, you can usually squeak another 25 or so pages out of it after the printer tells you that it needs to be replaced. However, ink jet cartridges don’t usually cooperate with this procedure.

I’ve experienced the difficulty in finding a number 1 pencil in a retail store.

I know pretty much everything about the legalities and responsibilities of a landlord in the state of Massachusetts as well as those of a tenant.

I know that two wrongs don’t make a right but that 3 lefts do.

I have a fairly good knowledge of cosmology and theoretical physics as well as being aware of the similarities, differences, and practices of many different religions and philosophies. I am good at many practical uses of science and technology in general.

I can take music OFF of an iPhone, iPod or iPad and transfer it to a different device.

I can identify a wide range of crystals and stones and can make wreaths from natural vines, berries and pine cones.

I can sharpen an axe or knife.

I can swim using several different strokes, ride a bike including a motorcycle, hook-up a stereo or home theater system, and I know that I should not sing in public.

I know how to walk from Times Square in NYC to Ruby Tuesdays restaurant on 7^th Avenue.

I am the backup king and have all my computer files, pictures, data, etc backed up on the computer’s hard drive, AND on external hard drives (that are backed up to other external hard drives), AND on flash drives, AND on backup services that are off-site, AND other backup services that are off-continent.

I have experienced the thrill of being class president while in the 12^th grade.

I keep how to ensure that some of my websites will continue to be hosted for up to twenty years in the future and that doing so will make the availability of those sites very weird if I die before the websites expire.

I can, and do, maintain a 7.035KW solar energy system.

I know how to iron clothing and do common sewing tasks like hem pants, sew on a button or make little pouches. I’m very good at housecleaning and I can clean almost anything.

I can roll a really good joint and press hash into bricks.

I know that it’s not a good idea to try to jump start a newer model car because you could fry the car’s computer.

I know that if you love something and set it free it is NOT guaranteed to come back. Also, if you love something and actually set it free, then you are a strange person.

I can make necklaces, bracelets, and pendulums from semi-precious stones, crystals, herbs, and metal beads and carve a small fork, spoon, and knife.

I can take an SATA computer hard drive and turn it into an external USB drive and have the patience to make a jigsaw puzzle.

I am very good at losing it in an airplane and drawing a lot of unwanted attention to myself.

I can cut my own hair with clippers and trim the back of my neck by myself. I can also shave my head completely bald (which sounds easy but isn’t).

I remember that I was able to buy a small ice cream cone when I was very young for 5 cents.

I have a good sense of humor as long as it isn’t a practical joke that’s being played on me. If so, then I am very good at being perturbed.

I can clean a dry cleaning system and use a steam cabinet and tie a necktie.

I have above average intelligence and very good common sense. I am capable of learning new things and I’m not afraid to try new things or have new experiences. I can speak a little Spanish and can ask several questions in Turkish such as “how much does that cost”? “Hello, how are you”? and “I’d like two loaves of bread, please.”

I am almost always on time for appointments and meetings.

I can fire a several different types of weapons including my favorite, a Smith & Wesson 10-round 22 caliber revolver.

I have had frosting that was made with Crisco instead of butter and I know that it is so disgusting that it can make an unsuspecting person hurl.

I can make a campfire, split wood, and use a wood burning stove as well as look at the sun and probably tell you where north is and the approximate time of day.

I can run side businesses such as fine art galleries, online novelty sales, and web design services. 

At the age of 16, I traveled alone from Iraklion, Crete (Greece) to Thessaloniki, Greece. I flew to Athens and then took a series of different buses (with occasional hikes in between towns) to get to a destination I didn't actually know the location of. It took 2 days to make this 556 mile journey.

I am very generous; I buy good presents and gifts that people enjoy and I’m a good tipper including tipping people who come to the house to provide installations and repairs. I manage money well. I can, in most circumstances, delay gratification and pass on impulse buying (but not always).

I can write backwards in cursive.

I look ahead and plan for the future as much as possible. I am aware of safety concerns and survival preparedness and procedures.

I can repair and/or fix a toilet tank flapper or other components and I know that it is dangerous to mix bleach with ammonia or with vinegar.

I can keep a secret, keep my feelings inside, and I know lots of trivial facts.

I can be tenacious in many respects. Related to this trait is my belief that as soon as one thinks it’s time to quit or stop doing something that one thinks can’t be sustained, one probably has quite a bit more strength, energy, and/or stamina left than one thinks. Try it. It works. Also, one plus one plus one plus one equals four.

I have the good sense not to brush my teeth and then drink orange juice. Don’t try it just to see why I know better than do it. You should just trust me about this.

I am a very good organizer and I’m good at documenting stuff. I am very helpful, in general, but I am also a good complainer.

I am aware that ending a sentence with a preposition isn’t always bad grammar, but even so, it’s not something I want to get into.

I can appropriately affix a stamp in the correct manner into a stamp collecting book.

I can move forward if a situation isn’t working out so well and I’m equally good at losing friends and interrupting people. I interrupt a lot, but mostly because I want to say something and if I don’t interject the thought immediately, I will for forget it altogether (because I am also good at forgetting) but I have really good long-term memory and I am good at keeping important relationships going.

I can make a small origami envelope and a little origami shirt.

I can skip rocks over the surface of a body of water and divert the flow of water away from the foundation of my house using extra-long rain spouts.

I know the basics of how to train a dog but that it’s useless to try and that cat’s aren’t “aloof,” they’re just shadows from another dimension.

I am good at documenting life events and keeping artifacts from the past. I have a calendar that shows events and anniversaries of events for every month between 1992 and the present (really) and I have the hospital wrist band from when I was born.

I remember lyrics to songs including those from long, long, long ago.

I know how to use unit pricing when trying to save money when shopping, but sometimes they trick you by listing something by “100 count” and other similar items right next to them as “per pound.” This is wrong and should not be done.

I can move my ears, but I’m not sure if it qualifies as actual “wiggling.”

I know how to cut down a banana tree to get the bananas and still ensure that new trees will grow from the fallen tree.

I can snorkel, dive deep, and come up and blow the water out of the snorkel tube, while keeping my face in the water.

I’m very good at recognizing transsexuals but I don’t have gaydar (not even a little bit).

I can make a meal of just about anything without having to follow a recipe.

I know how to shine a pair of shoes the real way, with shoe polish, a shoe brush and/or buffing cloth.

I know it’s annoying to repeat oneself.

I can write a list of things I know and/or know how to do or that I’m good at, and that the list must eventually be abandoned because it could conceivably go on forever.