One Nation Under Chippy

Little Chippy has something to say to all the peoples of the world.

Well, not all of them. Just the Americans.
(Can you find the Emperor from Star Wars?) 

 This is Little Chippy's buddy, Little Woofie.

Sign Me Up!

Allen just returned from a "job interview." I asked him how it went when he got home. He made a few comments. I asked if this was the employment agency interview he had previously set up. He told me that it was that appointment but that it wasn't so much a real employment agency. I asked him how their services worked and after some vague response, he casually mentioned that it cost $3000 to buy this company's services. I asked him if he laughed when the woman told him this. For some reason he hadn't.

He asked if the service guaranteed to find him a job. Answer: No.
He asked if they set up job interviews. Answer: No.
He asked if they assisted with job interviews. Answer: No.

After he told me the answer to each of these questions I again asked if he laughed. But he hadn't laughed. I, on the other hand, only saw ridiculous humor in this "service" he was being asked to buy into.

At some point, Allen somehow worked a question into the conversation about what exactly they DID do for $3000. The woman said they networked and "spread his name around." When I heard this the first thing I thought of was that they would be writing his name on bathroom walls. Apparently, this wasn't their method of networking but Allen couldn't be too specific with me about what, where, when and why they "networked him" because the sales pitch was (in Allen's words) convoluted. And he told the woman so. She lost her zeal for selling him her employment scam, I mean networking services after Allen didn't reach for his checkbook.

Incidentally, $3000 was the figure the woman quoted him because she said it was the level of service that would "meet his needs." Allen wasn't sure how she could know this since they hadn't discussed his needs.

So this is the state of the economy; if you want to use an employment agency, YOU have to pay them and they don't do much of anything for you.

As soon as we were done with the discussion it struck me. This interview was a gift!

Allen needs to set up his own networking agency! It's a perfect job. You advertise yourself as an employment agency then you find people to buy your services. All you have to do after that is go to networking groups such as those sponsored by various organizations like the Chamber of Commerce or the Small Business Service Bureau, etc and hand out your customer's business cards. Hell, you don't even really have to GO to these networking groups, just say you did and report to your clients how many fascinating employers you networked with and handed their business cards to.

It's the perfect job. It doesn't have to interfere with your leisure time day activities and you don't work holidays.

 

COUNT ME IN!!!

I am NOT a misophonic (and neither are you).

This statement appears in the description of the Misophonia: Coping and Solutions Facebook Group:

"It has been shown in cases that sharing triggers with other misophonics [sic] can create newly acquired triggers for them."

OK, I have 2 problems with this statement:

1) I don't like it when people make up words. There is no such word as misophonic. There's no shortcut (yet) for saying person with misophonia. While I'm on the subject, there is no such word as miso. I see people use this non-word in sentences like: blah, blah, blah... my miso makes it hard for me to blah, blah, blah... you don't have miso, you are a person with misophonia. I've blogged about this sort of thing before. I don't like cute words people make up to replace an already perfectly good actual word. Why do people feel a need to be soft-n-cuddly with words? (Vegetables are not veggies. Ugh.)

2) This may or may not be true. I suspect it isn't. The person writing the description doesn't cite any source of this statement, they've just said it is so. What cases are they referring to? Who studied this and published a scientific paper on it? I swear, this person just made this up on the spot. I've read pretty much everything there is to read about misophonia and I can tell you that there's far more that is not known about it than is known. There is no known cure, no proven cause and no studies that one can cite to make any significant definitive statements about any aspect of misophonia. The science just isn't there yet.

I wouldn't have paid any attention to the suggestion/concept if the writer had said something like "it's possible that sharing information about triggers with other people with misophonia could result in creating newly acquired triggers..." After all, nobody knows if this is true or not so suggesting it's a possibly keeps a healthy dialog going. But making definitive statements about misophonia without backing your assertions with facts is misleading and not going to helpful to anyone in the end (especially if you're wrong!).

I understand the desire to sound authoritative when writing about one's personal experience and wanting to share information. But having a disease or being in a disadvantageous situation doesn't automatically make one an expert and writing something down doesn't make it so or give it any credence. You need facts and figures to present your case. If I am reading your work and you make assertions of facts not in evidence, I start to doubt everything else you have to say.

Is this the devil website?

Visit the Magic Wishing Well

I wish that I am able to change into a mammal.

I would like to be bald.

I wish I was Secretary of State since the beginning of my term.

Am I going to be Ty Pennington?

Is this the devil website?

Am I leaving this comment?

At which point do I become Ty Pennington?

Always get it in writing

Religion Fail

Is half enough?

Check out this jar of grape jam:

 Nice jar of jam.

Notice the label,

it indicates that the jar contains 2lbs of jam.

Now check out the back label:

Hmn, every TWO POUND JAR

Starts out with ONE POUND of grapes.

What's the other pound made of?

(you only get one guess)

...and they're PROUD that the contents of the jar is only HALF GRAPES!

Life is Memorable (maybe)

At best.

Walking through doorways causes forgetting, new research shows (there's hope for me yet).

http://news.nd.edu/news/27476-walking-through-doorways-causes-forgetting-new-research-shows/

Protect all aspects of your memory with these research-backed tips:

1. Meditation for working memory. Meditation can help you hold more information in your working memory by improving your concentration.

2. Coffee for memory consolidation. New research shows that consuming caffeine after learning something new can improve your ability to remember it a day later.

3. Berries for long-term memory. Flavonoids found in berries, especially blueberries, appear to strengthen existing connections in your brain, which can stave off age-related memory decline.

4. Exercise for spatial memory. Physical exercise not only improves spatial memory, it can also improve many other cognitive abilities.

5. Chewing gum for stronger memories. Preliminary studies show that chewing gum can improve performance on memory tests — possibly because it increases activity in the hippocampus.

6. Sleep for memory consolidation. Sleep is where most of your memory consolidation takes place, and when you don’t get enough rest your long-term memory storage can suffer.

flee from the scene

We’re all arrogant and deluded. Except me. I'm just better than you.

 

Statement indicating that one person is superior by undisclosed means to another.
Often used to stop moments of awkward silence.

 

There's a fine line between confidence and arrogance.

Your general knowledge of everything is good and improving every day. People come to you for advice, tips, and even guidance. Soon you begin to think you have become an expert and feel others are dependent on you. But they're not. You have all the answers for anything and everything, or so you think. Eventually, you gradually become dismissive of others. You are arrogant. Or, you might just be better than they are. It's hard to tell.

You answer every question with another question.

Knows at least as much as God

Visit the Magic Wishing Well

This is Allen's Birthday Weekend. Most people get a day to commemorate their day of birth (hence the name: Birthday). But Allen gets a whole weekend. And what a weekend it will be. NYC will have 2 more visitors to accommodate this weekend.

We will be wandering the streets and taking in the sights. We have three (count 'em THREE) shows to go to. We're seeing The Lion King, Pippin and Hedwig. I hear there will be a dinner at Ruby Tuesday Restaurant.I will be checking in with Facebook throughout the weekend with Status Updates.

This horse knows less than Baba Rae Saba. Don't trust this horse's opinions.

Father's Day 2014

I had a great Father's day this year. Allen bought me some shirts at Macy's and Emily and Sarah (and Henry) took us both out to eat at Pho Dakou in Worcester (one of my favorite restaurants). Also, they gave me and Allen a blueberry bush! Way cool !!!!

Today, I went to my brother's house for a combo cookout - it was a Father's Day cookout and a birthday party for my sister, who turned 35. The whole family was there. Here's a nice picture of me and my Dad that Allen took...

Judging a Book by its Cover

(not really)

Life is a Life Coach

LITTLE CHIPPY

Little Chippy (AKA Retirement Chipmunk) appeared on the scene in the 1990's.

What's the difference between living and living large? It's not what you think. Living large used to mean wealth, expensive toys, mansions and world travel. Nowadays, I think that living large sometimes means not being homeless, hungry and disenfranchised. Has what used to be luxury shifted to striving for basic sustenance? If so, how did this happen?

But first, let's decide if it DID happen. When was it that everyone had all of their basic needs met? The romantic notion of the America Dream in history is that it was available to anyone willing to work for it and if enough effort was put into the venture, one would reap inevitable and generous rewards. Like other stereotypical situations, this nostalgia may or may not withstand close scrutiny. 

Believing that the good life is somehow a birthright is misguided and pretty much a pipe dream for most people. Those who want to believe that life is about to bestow largess upon them at any moment are demonstrating a kind of futility evidenced by their use of the lottery as their retirement strategy. So, what can one realistically expect from life? 

Hard work still counts. There's no denying that some people are go-getters and others are not. It seems to me that those who actually DO put in an effort are more likely to be satisfied with the results they obtain; although there are people with low expectations and those who need less from life than others do. Where do you fit in?

Who me? I fit into the "don't really think about all that much" camp. Hmm, is this perhaps a little futilistic? Or is it realistic to live life in the now? As cliché as it actually is, for me there is no past or future. The moment that has just gone by while you were reading the beginning of this sentence no longer exists; nor does the moment that will occur after you get to the sentence's end. 

Does this mean I'm immune to the concept of magically realizing unexpected good fortune? No, not at all, I just have a casual "wait and see" attitude about this unlikely outcome. It would be great to have a life of luxury, who wouldn't enjoy such a fate?  But I'm not holding my breath in anticipation. Although... I might from time to time be heard saying never say never. I've found that many things I never thought would happen or come to be actually DID. It's always a great surprise when that happens.

So in the end, I think we should take a lesson from Little Chippy. Little Chippy started life as a mix of organic polymers that were colored, processed and poured into a mold. Did Little Chippy have high expectations considering his humble beginnings? Could he have possibly known that he would exceed the manufacturer's expectation of being a keitch and inexpensive lawn ornament?

Little Chippy has far exceeded his programming, so to speak. He has become the symbol of achievement (being dubbed "retirement Chipmunk) and the embodiment of entertaining and fun family folklore. Even having his hard plastic head break off after a fall hasn't dulled Little Chippy's attitude or kept him from continuing to be a symbol of optimism and hope. 

After all, if Little Chippy can make something of himself without even trying, without even realizing his self worth or doing anything to achieve his success and good fortune...

Then why can't we?

Enough said...

Some Current Magic Wishes/Questions

Here are some of the latest interesting Magic Wishes, Questions for Baba and comments
left on the Magic Wishing Well Website:

1) Please kill Mark E. McNutt on 08/23/1965.
2) I wish that my appendix would burst.
3) I wish to regrow my teeth.
4) Will I ever buy a fake gun?
5) Will my Korean Wife be good enough?
6) Am i eating rice?
7) I would like to summon the devil.
8) You're a little strange. Get out of that tree.

PandaMan Runs

I'm thinking of making my own Panda Suit and wearing it as I run. Wouldn't that be fun?
(I'm accepting dares and sewing assistance)

...also: still keeping up with the Joneses (running stats):

Southern Style

When I was 12 years old, I went to the Alamo. It was much smaller than it should have been. Inside, it looked like a cross between Ripley's Believe It or Not and an old west saloon; minus the bar, stools, table and piano. On the shelves I saw a two-headed snake and other formerly living creatures suspended in formaldehyde. I wasn't expecting that. There were historical flags that flew over Texas in the past when it was under Spanish, French and Mexican rule and one for when it was a republic unto itself, a flag during the Confederacy and finally the flag of the United States (which at that time had only 28 stars).

Technically, there were 6 flags that flew over Texas, but with a twist. Spain had 2 flags during the period of time in which it governed Texas, so one might count those as 2 different flags. France didn't have a national flag during the time it governed Texas and it didn't rule over the entirety Texas, just a failed coastal colony. So, there really wasn't a French flag at all. When the "6 Flags Over Texas" are depicted, there are many different designs used to represent the flag of France during the late 1600's (the short 6 years of its rule over Texas).

Other important things about Texas:

There were two brands of beer in the mid-sixties in Texas that had memorable commercial jingles; Hamm's beer and Lone Star beer. Lone Star beer's jingle was to the tune of Hey Look Me Over and Hamm's had their own tune - a very condescending musical tune that featured a stereotypical Native American drum beat (along with a cartoon bear).

In the city of San Angelo (in the mid-sixties) it was illegal to sell alcohol or fireworks within the city limits.

The entire state is overrun with Horny Toads (AKA Texan Horned Lizard). These things were covered in spikes and you could catch them fairly easily. The spikes were tough but didn't cut into your hand when you grabbed one. Strangely enough, when threatened, these things shot blood out of their eyes (yeah, weird).

One strange plaything that I had during my years in Texas was scorpions. I don't know why poking these things and catching them in jars and otherwise interfering with their lives was appealing, but it was.

Lastly, but only in terms of this post--there were tumbleweeds. Yes, they looked exactly as portrayed in the movies. These things came in many sizes and you'd see them blowing around in the wind all over the place. There wasn't, however, anything appealling about them in terms of amusement.

Now hear this

Think you may be tone deaf?

Try the distorted Tune test at: http://www.nidcd.nih.gov/tunetest/Pages/Default.aspx to see if you're able able to hear the good, the bad and the pitchless.

To explore your ability to identify notes, try this test of absolute pitch: www.audiocheck.net/blindtests_abspitch.php

Polite Reminder

Sometimes...

Sometimes, I feel sad because I have a thought - a good thought - about something I want to do. But after I have the thought, I forget what it was I wanted to do. 

A lot of these thoughts are really good ideas. I think I'm missing out on some fun and creative opportunities. But there's not much I can do about it. I thought about making a voice memo when I have a good idea. The problem is that by the time I get the iPhone, select the app and press record, I've already forgotten what it was I wanted to remind myself about. 

I had an idea about how to remedy this, whenever I get an idea I could yell it out at anyone who's around. Chances are they'll remember it long enough for me to make a voice memo or text the idea to myself. Of course, that approach will probably not be appreciated by people and get old quick.

There was a time when I decided that a forgotten thought didn't matter. That is, if I forgot it, it must not have been worthwhile remembering. But that idea didn't last too long. I know some of those forgotten ideas were quite good.

And in case you are wondering, I didn't forgot that I wrote about forgetting things before. That post had a much broader scope. This post is just about having a hard time reminding myself of things that come to mind.

Glazing Over the Matter

A Tale of Gnomes.

LEFT: unglazed                              RIGHT: glazed

LEFT: unglazed                              RIGHT: glazed

To tell a tale of Gnomes,

one must find themselves alone.

For no gnome knows

a place so cold as stone.

Until it's glazed.

Papa Gino's

Yes, folks. 

It's time to decriminalize