"yes," (incredulous look and tone of voice here) "it's raining..."

I didn't have anything in particular to write about today, so I'm going to post a laundry list of randomness.

Ask a weasel.

On writing:
I need to write something, anything at all.

On sleeping:
Last night I couldn't fall asleep. I did, however, think of a lot of interesting musical phrases. Some were new ideas and others were phrases for existing songs. As usual, I have no recollection whatsoever of these ideas. But many of them were really good.

On coffee:
Coffee is really good.

On winter:
I'm looking forward to plowing with my lawn tractor. I use it to clean up after the actual plowing is done. I have to remember to ask John to come over and convert the lawn tractor from mowing to plowing. It looks easy to do when watching him do it, but if I look at the parts and pieces by myself it looks really, really hard.

On Christmas:
No thoughts until early November when I decorate for Christmas. Oh wait, it IS early November! Cool, I'll go decorate now.

On winter again:
This winter will be the first winter after having extensive attic insulation work done. They did all this stuff:

1) Attic insulation - open blow - cellulose 4" - 972 sq. ft.
2) Attic floor insulation: FG batt/damming 64 sq. ft. (I have no idea what that is)
3) Air sealing - 'performed at 62.5 CFM50 per hour' (I don't know what that is either)
4) vent bath fan/soffit exhaust
5) Propervent 24OC - 54 of them (obviously they're vents of some kind)
6) Thermodome - for attic stair cover thermal barrier 'with carpentry'

All that work sounds like it should make a difference in keeping the heat in the house.

On music:
I have 16 or 17 new songs. I may start recording them soon. Also, I've decided to write some Christmas music and make a Christmas CD for 2014.

On grandchildren:
I will soon have twice as many grandchildren than I do now.

On going out to eat:
I need to find ways to cut down the household expenses so that we can go out o eat more often than we do now, a lot more.

On cleaning the house:
I like cleaning stuff.

On chocolate:
(see coffee above )

On retirement:
The jury is still out. I was supposed to retire September first but as soon as I think I'm out they pull me back in again.

On weight loss/gain seasonal cycling:
I'll continue to attempt to get it on a more level playing field but I'm not going to obsess over it anymore. I don't want to spend any more time worrying about certain things like that. I just don't have the time or interest.

On tribal feudalism:
I don't really have anything to add to that subject that hasn't been covered by Karl Marx.

On cutting down trees:
I'm enjoying my new extended vista and will be reshaping it over in the years to come.

On Good & Plenty candy:
(see chocolate above)


On making lists:

Definitely do this. It's amazing how much you can get done if you view the list as a challenge to your core values and most treasured personal convictions. Don't let the list win!


On the ukulele:
I must start playing it everyday.

 

Smile

I like this picture:

Huh? What was that you said...?

I got a comment on my post about misophonia, and I was recently told that I am very good at carrying on an entire conversation with an inanimate object. I'm not sure if this is such a great thing to be good at, but I'm OK with telling it as it is.

Since I was made aware of this talent, I've realized that these conversations come about for one of two reasons. Or maybe three reasons. Four tops. In this post, I'll address the number one reason why I may have a conversation with, well, you know, something that can't talk back.

The most likely reason I will have a conversation with a "thing" is because the thing is making a noise. To me, the noise it's making is really the same as a person making unsolicited, irritating and continual comments or insults. So, not only is this thing making a noise, but it is doing so just to be offensive. In most situations, it can take a long time to figure out what is making the unwanted noise, and this is what I believe gets the conversation going.

Riding in the truck is a major source of noise problems and therefore a good conversation starter.

The truck makes a LOT of noises and there are some that can't be fixed. But there are things in the glove compartments (there are 2 of them) that make rattling noises that can be stopped, sometimes. Fixing this complicated problem involves opening the door and forcefully rearranging the contents with a quick random shake-up. This may have to be repeated several times to get things settled in a way that they don't continue to conspire to irritate me. These items are unpredictable.

In addition, there's a rattling noise in the far right air conditioning vent that makes a plastic on plastic chattering sound. It's way down deep in the duct somewhere. The only way to stop the noise is to close the vent. This is not a satisfactory solution in the summer when the air conditioning is on. But in most situations, this sound can be reasoned with.  

In the truck's middle console between the two front seats, there are several little open organizing trays. A lot of random things get thrown into these nooks such as pens, coins, paper clips, little tiny flashlights, key chains, etc. and they rudely clang and clink amongst themselves. I usually take the pens and put them into the big console compartment that closes with a lid. If they continue to make noise in there, I can't hear them so I don't care. The coins I take and put in my pocket. The other things are either put in the glove box, put in my pocket for future placement, or thrown out the window during an argument. OK, so I don't actually throw things out of the window but it would probably feel good to get the last word in.

The truck keys dangle from the ignition and they clink and clank and bang into each other incessantly carrying on a loud raucous discussion that sounds a little like an argument. Sometimes, I must send out a silent distress signal because Allen will stop them from swinging and that immediately stops their debate (temporarily).

In the back seat, the two shoulder seat belts hang in a specific place against the interior and along the side of the seat. If someone uses those seat belts, they don't automatically reel back into the proper position after their use. No, no, no. They hang there halfway to where they should be and the buckle part of the strap hits the hard plastic side panel and makes a loud clanking noise and does so over and over again. They don't roll-up into the right position despite their ability to do so and if they did, they'd be made to keep their thoughts to themselves. They just clank until I make Allen stop the truck so that I can get out, open the back door and firmly remind them of their place. This may have to be repeated for the other side of the truck depending on circumstances. It's possible that these Toyota seat belts still speak Japanese, which would account for our communication problems. .

In the center of the truck in the area near the floor, there is a rattling noise that comes from somewhere within. This noise is affected by temperature and when "in season" it's an almost constant irritant. I have had some small successes by prying the plastic apart where it meets the floor carpeting and putting a piece of cardboard there to keep the space sufficiently open. Unfortunately, this fix only lasts for 15-30 seconds before the noise works up the courage to start giving me more flack. Usually this will mean that the cardboard wedge will have to be reprimanded, I mean repositioned.

Similarly, a well-placed cardboard wedge can also stop a squeak that sometimes comes from the space where the bottom of the windshield meets the dashboard. At first it seemed to be a noise from within the defrosting vents, but it is actually a noise created by something inside the vents, inaccessible for a permanent fix. This noise knows I can't stop it and it's very obnoxious about this fact.

Items in the door pockets are notorious noise makers, especially metal spray cans of sunblock as they bump into adjacent bottles and other pocket contents. These would seem easy to fix by simply moving the items away from each other, but its not that simple.

Anything free to move around will eventually rub up against something else and start yacking again. The trick here is to get the items in the pockets tight up against each other so that they can only get enough air for a whisper. One of the offenders in this location is a small plastic first aid kit. Considering what a first aid kit is used for, you'd think it would be more polite and concerned about a person's welfare. This is not the case, trust me. I've gotten the information straight from the source. 

Plastic water bottles can not be made to stop squeaking and or crackling in a cup holder or when they're still in a plastic wrap case (after at least one has been removed). This is a fact and there's nothing that can be done other than not bring water bottles into the vehicle in the first place. I've had some serious conversations with the bottles about this and simply could not care less. I hate them.

Purchases placed into the back seat have the potential to be very aggravating. Since these new purchases are essentially guests at this point, you'd think there would be some honeymoon period. This hasn't been my experience. There's so many things that can wrong here. The purchases can contain things that can and do rub, rustle, scrape, squeak, chatter, hum, pop, buzz or make many other annoying sounds. Styrofoam is King Annoyance in this situation. The larger the bag and the looser the items are packed create more chances for a serious difference of opinion.

Just to be clear, I don't think these conversations actually help with the noise problems. But it's always good to get things off your chest, don't you think?

No time to write today..

So here's a picture.

An open prayer to God, Creator of the Universe and other stuff

Dear Sir Lord God, 

Please stop making bad people and people with an IQ of less than 78. Also, I know you like Mormons a lot but we really don't need anymore of those either, no matter how nice they may be. 

Also, could you turn the thermostat down a little on earth? I know you must really like the earth since it's the only place in the universe you chose to put life. So, just in case you didn't notice (I know you have a lot on your mind caring for all that there is and all) it's getting a little toasty down here.

I realize how important it is for you to be worshiped and feared, but in all humbleness, wouldn't it be better to have only one religion? That is, of course, if you think there needs to be such a thing as religion at all. I don't think it matters what religion you might chose over all the others, but having only one religion would pretty much turn the entire planet into paradise on earth. I know that might make your heavenly reward thing a little less appealing, but if the whole world is singing your praises anyway, maybe you won't even need heaven anymore.

As long as we're on the subject of paradise on earth, why not go the distance and do away with all that is wrong in the world? If you need to be adored and revered, why did you make it possible for us to ignore you or not "believe" in you? Oh, yeah - that "free will" thing, right?

I guess the free will concept is a little hard to understand for us humans. After all, if you know all and see all and created all and are all that, then you already know which of us is going to ignore you, not believe in you or commit sins against you and you even know how it's all going to end, so uh, where does the free will thing come into play? But like I said, we're only human and we can't understand your mysterious ways. Which, if I'm being honest, makes it almost impossible to please you. But I'm not a complainer...

Lastly, I'd really like substantive and empirical evidence that you exist. I know this knowledge is one of your biggest mysterious no-no's. But it really seems like a big waste of my time to do your bidding for an entire lifetime if you're not going to be there at the end to give me your promised rewards.

In conclusion, if you do exist, I must admit that I admire your work, flowers are pretty and chocolate was a real stroke of genius. And I hope you don't hold a grudge against me or others who question your existence of effectiveness or relevance. I'd like to think that using the resources you gave us (like a brain) were given to be used. Otherwise, a spinal cord would probably have been enough.

Magic Wish of the Day:

"i wish i was born on july 3 1997 in los angeles to a filipino-indian mother and an american father and a 6 years old younger sister"

Comment: uh, I don't think that this wish is ever going to be possible. As far as I know, only 2 people can create another human being. That third 6 yr. old is redundant, or more specifically superfluous, oh hell, it's just damn creepy. Visit the Magic Wishing Well

Bleak

I dreamt I was awake but having listless legs I did not at first notice 

The ground shaking under me with a quake compelled to tremor

A force majeure had risen from the earth

And it pelted me with fear and anxiety
-Paul N. Dion-

The Life of a Story in Progress XX: Family Ties

There are different types of families. I'm not talking about the people within a family but rather types in the sense of family of origin, nuclear family and so on. My family of origin is probably typical. Although having parents who have been married for 59 years is somewhat unusual, I suppose.

In any case, I wanted to mention what I call MY family. My family consists of a very small group of people. 6 tops (soon to be expanded). A subset of that family is the family I actually live with. That family is even smaller. It's exactly 2 people.

How many people are needed to constitute a family? I have no doubt that 6 is more than enough to qualify as a family, but is there a rule? Is 2 people enough? And if it is, what if one person dies, divorces, wanders away, etc. Do they take your family status with them? And why is there a picture of a giraffe below?

Giraffes are, apparently, amusing. I should post more pictures of giraffes. 

Magic Wishing Well Wish of the Day: "I wish me and my ENTIRE family were blonde (except the ones that are already blonde) in a new shape and voice and everyone knew we were blonde."

Visit the Magic Wishing Well

Even better than no balance due....

I knew it was coming and October is the month with no electric bill. Not even the little piddly stupid stuff they attach to the bill could stop the mighty 7.035 KW solar system from defeating big business.

Technically, in terms of counting electricity ONLY, if those stupid little "customer charges" above didn't exist...I'd actually have a $20.68 credit towards my next bill. Which will be zero anyway. Ha H ha ha ha aha   choke sputter ps spit a ahh   arg ah ha ha ha ha ahh aa shudder sshake ha ha ah   LOL jha ho ho ho

STATS:
I have NOX Offset of 3.28 lbs
SO2 offset of 10.43 lbs.
and
CO2 offset of 3,737.59 lbs

(over the period of July 1 - Oct 15th)

Creative or just plain gross? (and a Little Green Man)

 

You Decide.

 Hello, I am an idiot. I do idiotic things and think idiotic thoughts. I have idiotic dreams and an idiotic wardrobe. Some people think I am stupid, but I am not. I'm just an idiot.


Magic Wishing Well Wish of the Day: I wish that me, my mother, and my sister will have white peoples hair by tomorrow. I wish that my hair, when it is white peoples hair, will be cinnamon brown colour, extremely silky, a bit thick and waist length hair. I wish that my sisters hair, when it is white peoples hair, will be cinnamon brown colour, extremely silky, a bit thick and bra strap length and I wish that my mothers hair, when it is white peoples hair, will be cinnamon brown colour, extremely silky, a bit thick and bra strap length. I wish that me and my sisters eye colour will be light brown by tomorrow. I wish that all of that will come by tomorrow.

Visit the Magic Wishing Well

 

People are industrious

FREE iPhone Speaker

I bet this actually works. Somebody try it and let me know.

Posting a picture because I won't have time to write until Monday

This woman is not standing on a magic flying carpet.

Please Don't Say These Things To Me

There are some abbreviations that make sense to me like "mph" and "IQ" and there are acronyms that make sense such as "FEMA," "NASA," "YMCA," and "WTF."

But then there are annoying childish-sounding made-up words that people use because:

1) they're stupid people
2) they don't know how to actually say the correct/proper word
3) they need/want to sound cool (but don't)
4) they live in a cartoon world where baby talk is acceptable for adult usage
5) they don't know better (never heard the correct way to say/pronounce something)
6) they're too lazy to fully commit to a word or phrase
7) they're too young to know that they're using a made-up word

I have a list of words that you should not use when communicating with me because I will associate you with one of the categories above. But I have to admit that there are some common ways to incorrectly abbreviate things that are (to me) harmless such as using "pm" instead of "p.m." and things like that.

But the following words will not endear me to you.....

The WORST abbreviation on my list is VEGGIES. OMG. I H8 it. Did you just learn to talk? Was "veggies" your first word?

And then there are the following offenders.  (not in any particular order)

mani or pedi - What are you, 4 yrs.old?

cuke and and delish - Ouch. Unfortunately, the Microsoft Word spell checker didn't object to either of those words. That's just sick. (and I don't mean sick as in "cool")

chicken parm - is just so wrong, wrong, wrong. It sounds like a disease that affects chickens, doesn't it? (and the spell-checked did NOT like that word)

24-7 - this one almost made my harmless list but I just can't completely accept it. It's possible that I may embrace this numerical abomination at some time in the future.

OK, this one is probably the second-most hated one I could think of, and that is the ignorant use of "ish." As in noonish or smallish. Those aren't real words, people!

How about pic or pix for pictures or pictures? I think people use those abbreviations just to annoy others. They KNOW they're using total grammar-gobblygook.(oh look, I just made up a stupid word... but at least it's not an abbreviation)

nada - when you're not actually speaking Spanish. Wrong.

hubby - to me that sounds really sarcastic... as in: The hubby is a complete idiot.

Congrats - no comment, just don't say it.

Here's an annoying one that isn't just annoying, it's really improper to use: the word MASS instead of Massachusetts. Why do people say "I'm going to Springfield, MASS"? It sounds like they're going to attend church services in Springfield, MA (or Massachusetts)

OK, these two and any others like them are really aggravating: lite and nite. Are you REALLY saving time by omitting TWO LETTERS???? 

..and whoever coined the word nosh for eating or snacking or whatever it's supposed to mean? It doesn't sound very appetizing to me.

fridge - ugh.

thks, or worse, thx - lazy, lazy, lazy...

And then there's unintentional redundancy. Less problematic but still weird to hear if you really think about it.

PIN number - uh, the letter n in PIN stands for the word NUMBER. Soooo, it's "What's your PIN"? Not "What's your PIN number"? Wow, I just though of PERSONAL PIN number... Ha!

some others:

free gift
SSN (another redundant use of the word number)
ATM machine
and
DMZ zone

But I'm being a real stickler in regard to previous examples. Nobody means to say "social secuity number number" or "automated teller machine machine." But tecnically, they are.

At lastly, here's one I used to enjoy from the early nineties. There was a Microsoft Opertating System called Windows NT and people would use the term, Windows NT technology." Ha ha, the N in NT stands for technology! (snicker here)

Caveat: if you use any of the above abbreviations or redundancies, then I take it all back. And yes, I thought of ending the post with a silly commonly used word/phase or superfluous comment but I resisted the urge. I think it's an overused ploy.

I won!

I received a National Grid Energy Report today. It shows your energy consumption in relationship to that of your neighbors. Out of my closest 100 neighbors, I use the least amount of energy! 

I'm number one! I'm number one! I'm number one!

The Life of a Story in Progress XVIII: My Family of Origin

My parents met when they were young; my mother was 18 years old and my father was 21. They were married in 1954 and I was their first child, born in 1955.

My mother left school after completing the 8th grade. She never mentioned any particular reason for this other than to say that she then got a job and worked for a short period of time. This would be the first and only time she worked outside the home. If you're wondering what she did for the next 3 years before meeting my father, so am I. I don't think she got a job at the age of 15, so there's something not quite right about her recollection of those years between 1949 and 1954. There's a gap there.

I'm sure there was no shortage of things to do at home, she had 9 sisters and 3 brothers (one sister named Alice died at the age of 14) so it was a large family. She was the youngest, so there were always older siblings around to help out around the house, leaving more questions as to what she did for those intervening years between school and marriage.

My father was also the youngest in his family. He had 2 brothers and a sister. His sister also died at the age of 14. Her name was Jeanne. My father went to Assumption College. How his family could afford this is unknown. They were quite poor. None of his other siblings went to college.

After my parents were married, they honeymooned in New York city. There are plenty of photos of them on top of the Empire State Building and at other locations in NYC. I don't know where they lived for the first year of their marriage. The next step in the timeline that I know of is the time of my birth after which my father got a job at the Tupper Plastics Factory for 3 months to pay the hospital bill.


 At some point soon thereafter, my father joined the Air Force. He is sent to Korea and my mother moved back into her parent's house while he was a way. Upon his return, they moved to Manchester, NH. There's absolutely no reason for this that I know of.  In any case, in 1956 the three of us lived in Provincetown, Massachusetts for a time and then moved to North Truo, on Cape Cod. In 1958, my brother Ron was born and in 1960, my sister Carol was born.

At this time, my father is transferred to Japan. My sister is about 2 years old at this time. While my father is away, my mother shows his picture to my sister every day so that "she'll remember what he looks like." According to my mother, this works and my sister recognizes my father when he returns a year or so later. I have doubts. During this time, I have started school and attend first grade in South Grafton, MA.

My brother Ron had the unfortunate circumstance of being the second born son. My parent's were not prepared for me and reportedly, I was a handful. So by the time my brother is born, they have a better grasp on parenthood and I don't think he got away with much of the shenanigans that I put them through. For the next 12 years, there are three children and the three of us grow up together in the first chapter of the family history.

Ten years after my sister's birth in  1960, my brother Wayne is born. He's on his own, not having siblings in his age group. In fact, it would only be a year later that I move out of the house. Nine years after Wayne is born in 1970, my sister Norma is born. She is born one year after my first daughter is born, making her younger than her niece.

The family is now complete with 5 children.

Tribute: Little Green Men XVII, I've come up with a plan

Sometimes I worry about things. Important things, unimportant things, just about anything. But I've decided not to worry on Mondays. That's right, Mondays are no-worry days. It's like a vacation from, well, worrying.

And yes, I know, I haven't written anything significant in a few days. It concerns me. Good thing tomorrow is Monday.
--------------------------------------------------

Please help this poor little green man. He thinks he's arrived on earth in the early 80's. He believes that if he dances like a robot he will blend in and not be detected while he carries out his reconnaissance mission.

-----------------------------------------------

Did you know that recognizance is totally different from reconnaissance?

 And another thing:

Can you stop yourself from being an atheist through prayer? 

 

I wrote a new song 2 days ago. I didn't make any corrections or edits to it as I wrote the notes down. It's a great song and may become the featured song of my new CD and the song's name may be the CD title.

Magic Wishing Well Wish of the Day

I Wish I Had Master Air Bending Skills

Visit the Magic Wishing Well

That doesn't mean I like it.

Side note:

Today I am with Emily, John and Allen  buying baby furniture at Babies-R-Us in Northboro, MA for baby Chipman.

The Life of a Story in Progress XVII: LSD

If you are a regular reader of this blog, you know I went to school in Karamursel, Turkey. While there, I had opportunity to take LSD. So I did.

My LSD "trip" was a very pleasant one. No bad trip scene occurred. Apparently this is a possibility.  Considering the effect LSD has on the mind, a bad trip must be, well, bad.

The LSD affected my vision, perception and motor abilities. Most regular and normal stimuli was changed in some way. Some things seemed intense, others more subdued. One of the most prevalent effects was surreal visions. Here are some examples:

1) I went to a softball game (who knows why, I had/have no interest in sports whatsoever). When the hitter hit the ball, the ball would leave behind a trail along its trajectory. This looked like a white line from the place where the ball hit the bat to wherever the ball ended up. Occasionally the ball would be caught by a player, thrown to another player (let's say the second baseman), then perhaps thrown to base. The white line left behind the ball as it made its journey remained visible and the white line would have then shown a record of the entire play. After a while, the line(s) would slowly drift to the ground and disappear. The process then repeated with the next play. Sometimes, the lines wouldn't disappear for a longer period of time and the field would then be littered with lines from previous plays and looked like a field of spaghetti.

2) In the dormitory (where I lived), the floor had common one-foot square tiles. The floor had a checkerboard pattern of red and black squares. As I looked at the floor I saw that the the red squares (only the red ones) appeared to be raised up about 2 or 3 inches. As I walked down the hall, I stepped on the red squares, which pushed them back down. I had to get all the red squares pushed back down, it took a while. As far as I know, nobody asked me what the hell I was doing.

3) There was a mid-sized boat propped up into an upright position behind a building near the back edge of the base. The base had waterfront on the black sea, so a boat wasn't so much out of place, but it was really far away from the water. Me and a friend used to sit in the boat (in the lower level, which was quite large) and smoke hash. This is what we were doing during part of my LSD experience and while inside, the boat began rocking back and forth as though it was being tossed about by the sea. The rocking became very pronounced and I couldn't get myself into a stable position. It felt like I was very forcefully hitting the inside walls. Apparently, this wasn't true as I didn't have any bruises the next day. BTW, this didn't qualify as part of a bad trip because I wasn't very concerned about the situation as it occurred.

I don't really know how long the trip lasted, it began in the late morning and I think it ended sometime the next day (while in school).

The Life of a Story in Progress XVI: Obstructive Sleep Apnea

I use a CPAP machine that allows me to breath throughout the night. Without the machine, I have an average 82 obstructive and 48 hypopneas, with an index of 32 per hour. During my sleep study done in 2002, I had a sleep efficiency of 51%. That's not good. In some portions of the study, desaturation of 85% was observed. That's worse.

This condition is treated with a CPAP machine and it is called Sleep Apnea.

Here's a picture of my mask. I use a Resmed Ultra Mirage II Nasal mask. The mask only covers my nose. Accompanying the mask is a 12-foot hose, a bacteria filter, 2 other air filters and a water reservoir to humidify the air so I don't wake up with a dry my mouth/throat. I have to wear the mask every time I sleep. Even for a quick nap.

I've tried  a LOT of different CPAP masks over the years looking for the most comfortable out there. In all the years I've been using CPAP therapy, I've always returned to the Resmed Ultra Mirage II Nasal. It is, in my opinion, the best mask out there.

Sleep Apnea is potentially a life-threatening disorder.

I'm not overstating the risks involved with not using a CPAP machine when you need one. The risks involve: build-up of carbon dioxide in the blood because oxygen isn't getting in there which makes the heart work harder trying to remove that excess carbon dioxide. So, not good for the heart.

Obstructive sleep apnea increases the risk of stroke and sleep apnea is associated with increased risk of atrial fibrillation, congestive heart failure and other vascular diseases. So, not so good for the brain either.

Here's someone reading in bed. Ha Ha Ha HAH! That's funny. You can't wear glasses and have a mask (physically impossible with the mask I use). This guy's head straps are forcing his eyeglasses arms to dig into his head, trust me. He probably took the mask off right after the picture was taken.

This guy is just pretending to sleep because if you wear that type of mask, it will move with the weight of your head and air will leak. This leaking air will either wake you up, give you dry crusty eyes or just make wearing the mask useless (it's not pushing in enough air to actually work).

Since untreated sleep apnea prevents one from getting quality sleep, people with sleep apnea often experience severe daytime drowsiness, fatigue and irritability. They can have difficulty concentrating and they might even fall asleep at work, while watching TV, or even when driving. So, not so good for your general welfare (especially that driving thing...)

This mask is just plain stupid. The only way this mask could work is if the wearer was in a coma.

To round it out, sleep apnea can also affect: choking, morning headaches, forgetfulness, difficulty concentrating, moodiness, irritability, depression, sudden hearing loss and even small brain lesions. There are more risks involved but I think you get the picture by now.

Initially, I was given a CPAP machine which was covered by my health insurance. The machine became my property. This type of machine blows air out at a steady pace (my need was 10cm water, this is how they measure the airflow pressure.) When you wear this mask and exhale, you have to exhale against the force of the air coming in. It takes some getting used to and the attrition rate is high.

As technology progressed, they started to make BI-PAP machines. They blow air in like a CPAP machine but they detect that slight fraction of a second when you begin to exhale and they stop blowing air in until you begin to inhale out. Which is VERY cool.

This woman has nasal pillows (pillows of hard plastic) shoved up her nose and what's holding the whole thing in place? A mouth guard. The mouth guard has a plastic wedgey thing that sticks out and it's held between her teeth, keeping the mask in place. This mask is just plain stupid. Not only does she have the whole thing pressing against her face, she also has stuff up her nose and a mouthful of gummy teeth guard stuff.

Here's another example of nasal pillows. These things are not comfortable when you try sticking them into your nose and after about 5 minutes, they start to burn and become quite painful. Essentially, they spread your nostrils apart and you're not supposed to mind this, I guess.

There came a time a year ago when my machine stopped working. I went to the durable medical equipment company and asked for a new machine. But no, they wanted to fix it. And so they did. I complained. I had been using that machine ten years. I expressed my concern that the machine might again malfunction and I was concerned that if any electrical thing did short out inside the machine, that potentially smokey or other wise unhealthy air would instantly be pumped into my lungs. They had no particular comment. I asked how long I was expected to use this machine and was told "until it no longer works." The woman commented that she knew someone who has been using the same CPAP machine for 20 years. 

That's nice. Maybe she'll end up holding the record for "the person who lived and didn't die from using the oldest and most outdated life-sustaining CPAP machine."

Some women find the CPAP a real turn on. This woman is really excited about this guy's headpiece.

Today, I needed a new CPAP hose, so I called my durable medical equipment company to order a 6-foot CPAP hose. My insurance pays for one hose every six months. I actually need two, but they only pay for one. The co-pay for one 6-foot hose was over $40.00. I thought they were looking at the wrong item—they double checked and the co-pay for the hose was indeed a little more than $40.00.

This was really a rip-off because I can buy one on cpap.com $8.75. I’m not kidding. The shipping is another $7.00 but in the end I can get a hose from them for a total of $15.75.

These are the things that make health care so expensive.

I was not happy.

I hope you've learned something about obstructive sleep apnea in this post. If you have any questions or if you are new to using CPAP therapy and want some advice, leave a comment.

Here's how you look during a sleep test. You're supposed to fall asleep with all this stuff on you. What you can't see are the sensors attached to chest, back and legs.